In today’s reading we encounter Judas. From the sounds of it, he didn’t know he was setting Jesus up for death. He tried to make it right. When he couldn’t, the torment inside of him was too great. His remorse for giving up an innocent man was too much to bear. Judas took his own life.
Suicide has become very prevalent in our society. We have all been touched in some way by someone’s choice to end their life. It’s a hard thing to reconcile. I’ve lost several people very close to me…way too soon. The reasons vary from individual to individual, but there is always an element of remorse or feelings of inadequacy. Judas tried to make it right. There was no way he was going to hold on to that blood money. His friends would never accept him after what he’d done. Judas didn’t believe there was any other choice, but was there?
On the other hand, the religious leaders, the ones who were actually plotting to kill Jesus, had no signs of remorse. Everything was playing out nicely until Judas shows up and returns his payout. How could they even think of putting that money into the treasury? This was bribe money, blood money, the result of an evil plan. They came up with a solution.
Remorse. It is defined as deep regret or guilt for a wrong committed. Have you experienced remorse? Perhaps it goes back to your childhood? Did you do or say something to a classmate that hurt their feelings? Did you lie to a teacher or cheat on a test? Maybe you did those things but feel no remorse. Like the religious leaders, they somehow overlooked the wrong so they could avoid feeling bad, feeling remorse.
We can all think of things we wished we had done differently. But the past is the past. We need to learn from it and then leave it there. The past is where we learned the lesson, the future is where we apply it. I can truly say that I am who I am today because of what I learned yesterday. My past is not pretty, and there are plenty of things I’d like to change. But, then I wonder who would I be now? Think about that.
We should have remorse for the things we have done wrong. We are sinful every day, and we should lament and repent. We just need to be careful not to “repeat.” We should not let ourselves be so overwrought with remorse and regret that we can’t forgive ourselves. Jesus forgave us. Ask him to cleanse your heart. Then go and live!
Let’s pray. Lord, Forgive me for the wrongs I have done. I pray that those whom I have hurt can also forgive me. I know that life’s lessons can be hard. Help me to learn from them and not dwell on them. Refresh and renew me. Prepare me for what you have in store for me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
