This passage is one that I struggle with, so I pray through it and trust God. That’s pretty much a good plan any time we are faced with a struggle, whether it be understanding scripture or in dealing with life’s ups and downs. I’m certain I’m not alone, especially for those who may be in an unhappy marriage or for those whose marriages have ended in divorce, like my first go. And from the study I’ve done, Paul’s words have been widely misunderstood in the history of the church with tragic consequences.
Suffice it to say, that in a healthy marriage, each spouse she gladly give authority to the other in terms of their bodies. It is a joy and a privilege to do so and share so deeply when there is love. That marriage bond between couples should extend outside the bedroom as well so as to serve God together. So long as God is the center of the marriage relationship, keeping his will first and foremost, the thought of separation should never ever come up.
Unfortunately, my first experience was not a healthy relationship, and I still struggle with the word from God in verses 10 and 11. Despite many attempts to work through our dysfunction, my first marriage did end in divorce. For safety reasons, among other things, I felt it best to remove myself and the children. Looking back and remembering the peace I felt with that decision, I truly wrestle with knowing was God for me or against me in that moment? And then I remarried! Now where do I stand? Again, my dear husband is the love of my life, he cherishes me, and we walk hand and hand in God’s will, seeking each day to be a shining light to unbelievers. I truly feel God has led me to this place and used the struggles of my past to make me the strong woman I am today.
Enough about the personal walk down memory lane – but I wanted to share that for those who may be struggling with this verse and encourage you to wrestle it out with God, seeking forgiveness and clarity.
Also helpful is that Paul was writing this to the Corinthians, and their views on sex were quite a bit different than today. Well maybe, maybe not. The Corinthian society as a whole would follow the mantra, “If it feels good, do it.” So, there was a lot of sexual promiscuity going on (that part is much like today – sex has been infiltrating media, TV, movies, etc. for years). But also, as I understand it, even married couples in Corinth were tempted to refrain from sex by some who were teaching that celibacy was a more holy lifestyle and a means of religious power. In addition, sex was not special anymore because of all the exploitation. Short term abstinence, in marriage, is okay so long as it is by agreement. All important decisions should be made by agreement. Don’t you think?
So what are your thoughts on this passage? Please share any insights you have in the comments below.
Let’s pray. Father, thank you for your word. Help us to discern the message you have for us today. Forgive me for times when I doubt myself and the paths I have walked. Fill me anew with your spirit to be ready to shine for you today.
