Jacob had it made. He had a couple of wives and added a few more during today’s story. How many men would think that was a pretty great deal. Realistically – exhausting, and think of the drama. Yet I’m sure the girls kept it away from Jacob as he was busy in the fields with the flocks. Presumably.
Having multiple wives is not a common practice in our society today. However, I understand some cultures and communities do practice this polygamy. When we see a story like this in the Bible we are often quick to want to say it must be “okay” behavior. Personally, for me, I would not be accepting of this type of arrangement. I don’t believe it’s what God intends for us.
Jacob has his hands full here doesn’t he? Because two of his wives are sisters, we are seeing sibling rivalry at its best. God has vowed to bless Jacob, and quite a few children have been fathered in just a few short verses. When you spread out the children between four women, no one woman had to birth them all. However, there was so much jealousy. I could just hear the women saying, “Na na na na na” in a teasing sort of way.
Rather than look at the outcome of all the relationships, I want to focus on Leah. She was feeling unloved. We talked briefly in the last reflection about how she must have felt not being the one Jacob “wanted”. Her father had to deceive Jacob to make the marriage happen. She was going to try everything to make Jacob notice her and love her like he did her sister. Bearing him four sons should do it, shouldn’t it? After all, her sister had given him no sons yet.
We need to be careful not to find our value dependent on whether we are liked or loved by someone else. I know that sounds a lot easier than it really is. Don’t we all want the approval of others? First and foremost, we need to love ourselves and be confident and happy in who we are and what we have to offer. So many of us are stuck in a pattern of self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and other harmful behaviors that hold us back from our true potential. Maybe we say things like, “if that person hadn’t done this to me” or “I wish I was more like them” or “why do they have all the success and I don’t?” We need to get comfortable in our own skin.
Are we perfect? No. Do we have aspects in our personality that bother even us? Probably. Are we content to stay the course without doing anything to be better? I don’t know about you, but I do want to be better. I don’t want to be stuck in a place where I constantly compare myself to someone else. It’s harmful to the beautiful person I am. I have a lot to offer the world (and so do you), don’t short change those who you can touch.
So how do we get unstuck and start to love ourselves so we can love others better? Reflection, prayer, and time. God will help reveal his plan for you if you ask him. There are many tools available as well, such as books to read, podcasts to listen to, webinars to watch. The important thing is to fill our minds with healthy and uplifting messages. We are God’s creatures and he doesn’t make junk (disregard the mosquito).
Take some time today to list all of the qualities you like about yourself. Think about your physical, emotional, and social qualities. You are a gift. God loves us all unconditionally. What a deal! We should love ourselves, too.
Let’s pray. Lord, forgive me when I beat myself up over something trivial. Help me stop comparing myself to others and their accomplishments. You have given me a purpose, and I want to live smack dab in the middle of your will for me. May I trust you to work out all the details while I focus on being the person you created me to be. I thank you that I can use my experiences to help others. Show me how, Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
