We see in our reading today the reality of relationships. The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. Problems will arise. It’s not like this happened the very next day. The sections of this poetry are like snap shots in time revealing for us how relationships evolve. Interesting that this seems to be portrayed in a dream in some translations. Perhaps a nightmare that Shulamith hopes she wakes up from to find herself in Solomon’s arms once again.
You can probably see yourself in the story on some level. It’s all too common to be “too tired” or “not in the mood” when our spouse approaches us. We may have been on the receiving end as well of a “rejection.” It’s helpful to remember a good marriage relationship isn’t all about sex, but sex is of great significance. The closeness of an encounter provides a bond and connection that no other action can replace. Whether a dream or not, there are some important things to see in this passage.
First of all, I didn’t understand the symbolism of the myrrh left by Solomon. As I understand it, that was like him leaving her a love note reminding her that he had been there. We can all probably identify with the thrill we experience when we receive some unexpected blessing. That is what happened to Shulamith when she realized she had missed Solomon and by her actions had sent him away.
We can see strength in Solomon as well. He didn’t stomp off in anger or push his way into her room and force his advances on her. I know from experience in my first marriage how that feels to be forced. I’m still working on the scars left behind from those encounters. It took a lot of integrity and strength for Solomon to walk away. He was a very powerful man. I’m sure he was not used to being told “no.”
How was Shulamith feeling? I’m guessing she had remorse and regret for having turned her lover away. I’m supposing that is what this passage represents. “The night watchmen found me as they made their rounds. They beat and bruised me and stripped off my veil, those watchmen on the walls.” Perhaps this was a bad dream, because I can’t imagine the guards would hurt the wife of the king in any way.
This passage affirms that couples will have issues with sex. We all have different drives and because of that our needs and expectations will be different. What’s important is to be able to work through those differences to a mutually agreed resolution. Communication is key. I can relate to the example one woman gave in a book I was reading. She said that if she is not in the mood, she simply communicates that to her husband but offers her body for him to enjoy just the same. What a beautiful picture of unselfish love.
Let’s pray … Lord, thank you for your reminder that problems will arise and there are always ways to solve them. I can also see you in this story. You don’t push yourself on me. You patiently wait for me. May I be like Shulamith and earnestly seek you and love you every day of my life. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
